Confessions of a weight-gainer...


I’ve been dreading writing this blog, I really have. I’ve been hiding away over the summer, aware that my exercise regime has slackened off and my ‘diet’ too. And now I’m back, Will’s going to want to check in with me, and get the dreaded CALIPERS out. He’ll quickly see that I haven’t made much progress and then I have to share that with you guys, some of whom have made the most incredible progress. Argh.

It has been harder over the 6 week hols to exercise the amount I usually do, and to eat what I need to eat. There were days on holiday when the only options available to me were:

  1. Burger and chips

  2. Fish and chips

  3. Cornish pasty

  4. Ice cream

  5. Cream tea

A dream menu for me in days gone by, but not helpful when you’re on a weight loss mission. Yes, in an ideal world I should have prepared myself a little Buddha bowl and taken it with me to the beach, to eat with a sprinkling of sand. But camping alone with 3 boys didn’t provide me with an awful lot of time/motivation for that.

Ha! Listen to me, making excuses and being all defensive!!

Is my heart really in it I wonder? It’s a lot harder than I thought. I’ve never had to work like this to shift a bit of blubber. Can I even do it? Maybe not. Do I even really want to do it? Maybe not. What will I say to Will? He’s bound to want to catch up and see how I’m getting on after the hols. I don’t want to let him down…

A beep distracts me from my thoughts. Incoming What’s App.

Hell's Bells. It’s Will - mind-reader extraordinaire!

Damn it Janet.

In a panic, these various thoughts cross my mind (5. was DEFINITELY the last one):

  1. Shall I send him over some fabricated measurements and pretend all is on track?

  2. Shall I say I had to get a summer job in a fish and chip van and had to sample the food before serving it…DAILY? So through necessity and commitment to my job, I’ve put on a little bit of weight?

  3. Shall I pretend I’ve had some serious sporting injuries which have prevented any form of exercise?

  4. Shall I say I’m pregnant and getting a little larger?

  5. Do I come clean?

After much deliberation, and a huge massive effort to be a bit grown, possibly even adult like…I decide to come clean.

“Will, thanks for your lovely message, but to be honest, a weigh-in is the last thing I want. I’m struggling with the weight-loss mission and am feeling a bit useless for not achieving any of the goals set.”

His response:

This time, rather than 'ugh', I think “boy oh boy the boy is good”. He’s amazing in fact. Bloody brilliant at what he does…understanding, kind, patient, fun, and DETERMINED! If he’s there to do the journey with you, then there’s no way it can’t be done.

So I went along, and secretly stood on the scales. Weight has gone up a pound. Body fat has reduced 3%.

Conclusion: slow progress!!

But progress nonetheless. With that information, Will is now going to have a think about other things we can try.

We’ll get there. We’ll find a way.

He’s convinced me.

Holy Maloney. The boy is good. Even if the Client isn’t!


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